' so? '

i jus duno why dat word is so 'angker' for me. i jus dun like it. whenever people said 'so' to me, i feel that the world suddenly stopped. its like, 'jadi, ko nak apa?' dat kinda feelings. i know especially when i dun have anyone now, as in im single, i tend to be more sensitive about being alone n feeling dat i only get myself to pour out everything. well, of course , u gt ur frens, family n all, but it is jus not the same. im not saying that i dun like to be alone or single. its good to be one right now n enjoying it.

im single, alive n cooking !

but when people said that word to me,
it just got me stopped n think.
hmm,
'maybe if i gt sum1 that i can rely on,
he wouldnt say those things to me. '

n people talk about commitment towards other people, like bf. im not sure whether i am afraid of commitment, or im tired of it, but im loving my life without it. maybe im just afraid that all my effort to give the commitment will be wasted like what happened before or maybe i jus dun want to give any right now. maybe later, or maybe when i found sum1 that i believe its not gone be wasted at.

u know, when u really want sumting,
there must be a way to get it.
it jus u, yang tak nak,
then the thing takkan berlaku.