' so? '

i jus duno why dat word is so 'angker' for me. i jus dun like it. whenever people said 'so' to me, i feel that the world suddenly stopped. its like, 'jadi, ko nak apa?' dat kinda feelings. i know especially when i dun have anyone now, as in im single, i tend to be more sensitive about being alone n feeling dat i only get myself to pour out everything. well, of course , u gt ur frens, family n all, but it is jus not the same. im not saying that i dun like to be alone or single. its good to be one right now n enjoying it.

im single, alive n cooking !

but when people said that word to me,
it just got me stopped n think.
hmm,
'maybe if i gt sum1 that i can rely on,
he wouldnt say those things to me. '

n people talk about commitment towards other people, like bf. im not sure whether i am afraid of commitment, or im tired of it, but im loving my life without it. maybe im just afraid that all my effort to give the commitment will be wasted like what happened before or maybe i jus dun want to give any right now. maybe later, or maybe when i found sum1 that i believe its not gone be wasted at.

u know, when u really want sumting,
there must be a way to get it.
it jus u, yang tak nak,
then the thing takkan berlaku.

current obsession

yes, he is hot.

first admire him in a malay drama series 'Idaman' in 1998. and later, he is very popular, acted beside chow yuen fat and julie andrews in 'the king and I'. Also, in various theatre productions, both malay and english, especially jit murad's 'spilt gravy on rice' in 2001 and in 2007, 'p.ramlee the musical'. in 2006, he came out with his first malay jazz album, called 'semalam'. i used the 'semalam' song in my merdeka theatre as the main soundtrack. (credit to nijam).



he is hot, can act and most importantly, can sing Jazz.

;P

: (

" janganla sedih. kalau sedih, nanti syefah pun sedih"

of cursing and ramadhan

"fuck.."

"kan bagus kalau bulan ramadhan ni kita tukar cara cursing kita"


ups. hehe.


salam ramadhan semua.

kekasih semalam review.

52nd Merdeka

Semalam hanya semalam. Kenangan memanggil-manggil...

We had a wonderful Merdeka Celebration in Queensland last Saturday night at Roundhouse Theatre, QUT Kelvin Grove. The kids performed a very sentimental theatre called Kekasih Semalam (Last night's lover, but they say it's called old love). The above song (Semalam by Sean Ghazi) was the main soundtrack accompanied the acting.

I had a very quiet and good time watching the play. Some laughter slipped through in between. It was colored with so much of emotions. The scripts were catchy and funny whereas the scenes were rather plain and straightforward. Very similar to Yasmin Ahmad's pieces.

Rama was the crowd's favourite for his exceptionally opportunist (by coincidence) character and he is one hell of a lucky bloke. Siew Long (Nijam) as usual, always caught the attention of the crowd by his charming and mysteriously funny body movements and gestures. Cempaka (Emilia) was naturally superb. This is my first time seeing Emilia on stage with lead role and she had really made her way to the top. The whole casts were really good including Hasan the scriptwriter, the Singaporean choreographer (he danced like a swan) and most importantly, Sharifah the director of the theatre who was strong willed and made the theatre so alive.

It is even better than the Samoan's theatre I attended not very long ago. The I like to lick your susu, that was what the Samoan lady said...

I am proud to be a Malaysian, always have.

*taken from noor sahara alishar's facebook page.

Alas.

Once, there was a girl who was a dreamer, wanting to have her own theatre production overseas. She really worked hard for it. Smile, cried, laugh. it is not easy to direct a theatre when people dont understand why u wana do that. plus, she had to go through a series of challenges. she heard people said " buat apa nak susahkan diri buat benda2 macam tu. carik masalah sendiri". but she never listens. that is what she wants. after all, that is for her country independence celebration. she feels that she have to do something with it. and gathering everyone together for the independence purpose, that will be superbly satisfying. she gathered all her people, worked for it for one and a half month. it is not easy, but she managed to be strong and go for what she really wants.

last saturday, her dream came true. it was the staging of her theatre production - "kekasih semalam". it went well. great she must say. cant imagine how happy and excited she was. she received bouquets of flowers, and an award from the Malaysian Student Department for her leadership.

it is just like how she always mention - "kalau nak, mesti ada cara". that was the case. she really go for it and never gave up.

it was her, her assistant director and choreographer from singapore.

thanks to everyone especially her QUT Mysa crew for making it real for her. it means a whole lot to her. cant describe how happy, but she is. until today.

dedicated to her all-time-inspiration, our late yasmin ahmad.
May Allah bless you.


and the dreamer's face was uplifted and her eyes were overflowing with light.

mama's birthday!

happy birthday , mama.
love u so much.
May Allah bless u and all of us.
:)

the forerunner

Then life uttered us
and we came down the years
throbbing with memories of yesterday
and with longing for tomorrow,
for yesterday was death conquered
and tomorrow was birth pursued.

:)

i am much better now.

i really am.

janji aku.

aku bangun hari ini.bertekad.semalam takkan sama seperti hari - hari yang mendatang.kerana semalam itu perit sakitnya.kalau kau rasa apa yang ku rasa.pasti kau tahu sakitnya. melainkan kau sendiri enggan memahaminya.

aku tak mengerti mengapa ada manusia seperti kau.cukup tak berhati perut.mungkin kau juga rasa aku yang bersalah.makanya, mengapa tidak kau katakan?.berbincang,pasti ada jalan penyelesaiannya.seperti yang selalu aku katakan "kalau nak pasti ada cara".perlukah aku yang memulakan?sekiranya itu,mungkin kau perlu berikan lambang kejantanan kau pada aku.

kau bercakap mengenai ego. kau tahukah maksudnya?. kau rasa kau sudah cukup memahami pabila kau mahu mengajarnya kepada yang lain? mungkin kau terlupa, semua manusia tidak sempurna.mungkin kau pula yang perlu diajar tentangnya.

kau jangan ingat yang bila aku katakan aku suka pada kau, aku sanggup dihina asalkan kau berikan cinta kau itu. kalau inilah rasanya cinta, maka, aku tak mahukannya lagi. lebih baik sendiri. sekurang-kurangnya aku tahu, diri aku masih di atas, tak seperti kau.

aku ingat, kau berbeza dari mereka. tapi, aku salah. kau sama sahaja seperti manusia-manusia lain yang kau sendiri cerca.

bila kau lakukan sebegitu padaku, jangan ingat kau boleh hidup senang.
tunggu balasan aku.
aku doakan.
sampai hujung hidup aku.

her engagement.

Salam Kaklong.Congrats on ur engagement. Super happy for you and very sorry cant attend the ceremony. All the best to u and abg aizat. May Allah bless ur love. Send my love to the whole family. My prayers and love will always be with you. Love, Kakngah. Brisbane, Australia

kekasih semalam.

Suri, moden dan merasakan kemerdekaan itu hanya pada nama.

Mengapa perlu riuhkan sangat pasal kemerdekaan ini?
Ini bukan zaman aku.
Zaman aku semuanya dah ada.

Cempaka, si gadis yang merasa tersepit diantara cinta dan adat istiadat bangsa sendiri.
Jatuh cinta, tapi, bukan pada jejaka pilihan keluarga.
Lebih padah, kekasih hatinya, berlainan bangsa.

Mendulang harapan cinta yang terhalang.
Berdosakah aku menjalin cinta berlainan cara?


Seow Long, pemuda Cina yang merasakan pedihnya cinta apabila perpaduan menjadi halangan.
Sanggup merentas lautan tapi, tidak sanggup melanggar adat masyarakat demi cinta.

Datangnya aku bukan untuk melukai mu,
apatah lagi menodai kesucian adatmu.

Tiga insan. Satu cerita.Satu cinta.

of kebisaan kaki n hati.

i had a minor surgery for my knee last monday n it hurts so bad.
but, that cant really describe how i feel inside me.
worse.

if i have to go through all this shit just because i was being honest,
then,
im asking whether honesty is the best policy.

current obsession

from zuhur prayer to asar

:)