Sunday, September 28, 2008

sesuatu

berdiam
terduduk
tak mahu bersuara
kerna kau bukan aku
menari dan berlari
mengharap sepi yang menyendiri membawaku pergi
aku dan mereka
mereka dan kamu
hati ini terlampau gusar
jangan bertengkar pada perkara yang besar
nanti ada yang tersasar

diam
tunduk
dan berikhtiar

kau tahu apa yang aku putarkan.

Friday, September 19, 2008

them in my life.

whenever i talk about my family n friends back in malaysia, i will sound sad. but , dis time , in this post, im a bit excited because the hari raya is near, therefore, november is near.

i am very excited to go back to malaysia. yes. i really am , indeed.

my family.
i miss my family so much . maybe because they are the one that i normally go to when i have problems or i wana tell sumting dat is super exciting. especially my mum n sis. we can share stories like we are best friends. seriously , sumtimes people think dat me n my sis kinda rude to my mum by layaning her like our best friends, like bertepuk tampar n all, but , we are like dat. due to that kinda relationship, i never felt different or weird or anything if i wana tell my mum anything about me n my life. even how hot is justin to me, shes very aware of dat. n my sis. altho shes very alim because she went into sekolah agama n then now doing her law degree at uia, but she can actually accept for who i am ( not dat i say dat im not alim, but not DAT alim). hehheh. maybe because shes so damn baik, she normally treat me like a big sis because i am more ganas n firm dari dia. my bro , i miss him. altho hes being so super nakal n sumtimes masuk in the jahat category , but , i think ive been in that position before with all my frens. teenagers~. haahhaha. n my dad. he is the major reason y am i here in brisbane. at first, he force me to do dis, but now , im starting to see that this thing is relevant.

he wants me to be here so that i can study overseas + shopping like there is no yesterday.hhahahha.

nolah. shopping is one of the reason , but he knows me very well. it just, sumtimes, i couldnt notice it.

my friends.
i dun think anyone of my friends actually have friendship like mine. its weird, but real. like what nadia commented in my blog, ' you make it real for me' . they ( nad, etil, khif, farid n fadirul) are super weird, but they are wondeful friends. miss lepaking at pak li mabuk kopi, stalking the nyahs at lorong haji taib, makan besar at asia cafe, n lots of stupid stuff dat we do together .theyll be there for you when u need it and they say real things to u . like if i ask them whether my shoes or anything are cute, they will definitely say no if they think its not. i mean , i know its kinda harsh, but , they telling me the truth. dats y i love them so much. i dun see y people can actually tipu their frens just to jaga hati sedangkan ur frens are those people who are supposed to say real things to u. whether its good or bad, theyll be with u.

my boyfriend.
i miss him very much. he was there for me back then in malaysia, n so do now. im a one lucky girl, to be with him. lotsa challenges, but we always worked things out. as long as we dun stop believing in god and each other, we will be ok.

i just got my allowance. 6000 aud. im kinda worried last few days because im the only one who gt it late. a week late. since i have sum money to shop, the one that i normally keep every month, i have to not use it last week for shopping because im afraid that the money is not coming in. n since its here, ive started shopping last few days , which i really love the feeling when i shop. hehehhe. reminds me of the gud old days back at malaysia. ill post a blog on my shopping spree later.

i got 2 assignments to go before hari raya. and so far , im doing ok with it.

one n a half month to go.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

it stopped.

when my mum said "sumtimes u wont get what u really want" ,

she really mean it.

Monday, September 1, 2008

finding myself.

ive been thinking a lot lately about whats happening in my life n other stuff around me. makes me cry, smile, laugh and sad. it just complicated.

home.
yes. i miss home. although i stil only have around 2 months to go before my flight back to malaysia, but i really miss home so much. and plus, is now ramadhan. since in one of those PBSM (persatuan balik setiap minggu) girls at ipba, i always wil be there at home for bukak puasa , at least every weekend. it just feel different without my family around. man, i really miss them. not just by the food, n the money , ehem, that they give me , but most importantly , their love.

friends.
aww.. man.. dis one, very sensitive. i can easily cried because of dat. i miss my frens so much.very2. they make me feel as a whole when we r together. because they let me be myself. n i can see how myself really r when with them.they just make me feel good n happy. they make me feel complete. yes, complete.

love.
tough one. its almost 2 years, n its getting more challenging especially when 2 hearts r so far away. we tend to be so emotional about that. n god really2 testing on our love now.

study.
kinda malas these few days. n i totally hate myself more dis semester. i need more time to do assignments. thank god i start early.but compared to last semester, i think i am more enthusiastic in learning sumting last semester. i duno y.

financial.
my money in the bank can stand until early october. for all the bills, food n leisure. i really hope te allowance wil be coming these few weeks. since , i havent ask any money from my parents , i really hope dat i dun have to do dat. im learning to stand on my own since i came here to australia. learning to take responsible of my own financial.

my malaysia.
waiting for 16th of september. been praying hard. never felt so emotional when talking about malaysia, but i really hope that its not going to end up like how people r describing it. we could not afford any changes in the government. i love my country, n people, please start appreciate ur own country. make it happen - unity. when u r overseas, u wil understand dis : "hujan emas di negara org, hujan batu di negara sendiri, lebih baik di negara sendiri". unity, dat wat makes us, a malaysian.

current interest.
sleeping and my new iPhone.i just bought an iPhone. 16gb. loving it very much. a pink+black iPhone which i named it pinkrain.


i really hope stuffs wil be fine.

2 months to go.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

my bursa.

happy birthday to u ,

happy birthday to u ,

happy birthday to bursa ash,

happy birthday to u.


older and wiser.

xoxo,
syarifah

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

lifes like dat.

things started to get very busy lately. after the mysa's makan2, jg's sister is here , so , helping jg to bring her around. shes a nice lady. look pretty much like jg.

n the ekka.
ekka was fun. went there for two days because jg, zaim, acan, fad n kelsey were dancing for the international performances. helping out jg n the dancers to put some make up n cheer for them . thumbs up to all the malaysian dancers n pesilat n especially acan , for making the performance cun. hehhe. n obviously the showbags. it was almost the same like what i had in sydney for the easter show. goodie bags n sum cool stuff bag. i bought sum stuff for myself , n also for people. the rides were so tempting but i didnt go for any because was so malas to beratur. took sum pictures, of course n i had fun.


n my mum birthday was on last wednesday. on the 13th. i cried dat morning because i cant be there with her. this year , i sent her a bouquet of ferrero rocher which cost me 150++. money again. hehhe. but , im so happy when shes like very happy to receive it at school.

n last thursday , i went to gold coast with aiman, jude n amy because jude's mum n bro is here. we went fishing. one of my wish list at overseas is to go fishing n i did dat. i tot its gona be boring n stuff like dat , but to my suprise, it was nothing like wat i expected. it was fun, no mabuk laut, i managed to gt 4 fish (super excited about dat ). when we were on the boat , the dolphins were swimming all around us. i was so happy. cant believe my eyes. n theres penyu too, floating n swimming on the sea water. super cantik. n the best part is , we got to do whale watching too. i gt to see the whales. how cool is dat. since im supposed to go for a whale watching with jan last july , but , i didnt manage to do it , it was so good, to finally got to watch them. they were huge n splashing the sea water everywhere. n i was on my fishing boat for about 6 hours. n i didnt get bored at all. the waves r seriously dangerous, where we have to be alert all the time. n its windy. such a great experience.
zul n hanes is here for their holiday. went jalan2 city n southbank n west end with them yesterday. went to pancake manor too.again. its like a must go place at brisbane. hehhe.

super busy nowadays because of assignments but im excited, because november is near.yey!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

nad n her late father.

im having fever n i didnt go to class this morning. i dun feel ok n i miss home very much n i feel bad for not being with my bestfriend, nad, back in malaysia. her dad passed away dis morning.

she text me last nite saying dat her dad was in icu because of sum chest problem. i text her back , saying dat ill always be with her n things will be fine. i started to feel sick since yesterday. maybe the weather or maybe it jus my bad feeling. when i recited the holy quran last night, my ear started to feel uncomfortable. what me n my family believe is, thres people who just passed away. but , of course, i dun feel anything since i jus called everyone back home n everyone is fine.

when i was at zaims house, nad text me. i feel bad for not being with her since she is my best friend n we have known each other since standard one. both our family r very close to each other. later that nite, i called my mum told her dat cik alias ( nad's dad ), in icu. i also text farid , asking him to teman nad n look after her. i was praying so hard dat nothing happen.i dun stay too long at zaims house because i dun feel well, n once i came back home, i talked to ash for while, n head to bed.

i woke dis morning , performed my subuh prayers n then my mum called. i knew it was sumting bad because its too early in the morning. my mum said, nad called n her dad passed away. i was damn shocked n i cried. i called everyone, etil n farid n nad to say im sorry i cant be there n take a good care of nad. it is so unexpected. n altho nad looks like sum1 who is strong , but i knw deep down, dis is a very huge turning point in her life. n i feel very bad for not being there with her.

her dad was a funny man. n wise too. he always makes jokes like my dad. sum people always mistaken him with my dad. n he loves keroncong so much. whenever we lepak at nad's house , the dad will be there singing keroncong with the karaoke system. ive knew him since i was small n my dad n him used to work in the same office for years. theyre gud frens. n dats y i can feel the sadness. as a whole.

ive been missing home very bad lately. with stuff going on here. it becme worst when dis happened. ive checked tix, flight tickets to malaysia jus now. so expensive . ive been telling myself to be patience. things will be ok. but i cant stop crying , n feeling so bad because i cant be there with nad. im supposed to be there , be with her. im sori.

al-fatihah to her late father. hes a good man. very. may Allah bless him .