Me and my Emptymind

one of the best

2012-01-19T09:06:00.005+08:00

well, i never really2 like her. i mean, im very neutral when it comes to yuna. but, this song, definitely a spot on. i really like her voice for this song, the melody. and especially the MTV. reminds me of those old songs by p ramlee but here is the more catchy version. i think it is just perfect. dun u just think so?

i love the most.

2011-12-22T11:48:00.002+08:00

water colour with black ink on canvas.

perfect.

him.

2011-12-15T19:24:00.000+08:00

i miss this moment.

please come back here again . soon.

pasca graduan

2011-12-12T16:33:00.001+08:00

HSKOBA ostrich

2011-12-12T00:49:00.001+08:00

just came back from rugby alumni league at padang utara, pj with zatil dzulkifli. had an awesome time with etil which came on the behalf of tv3. view terbaik dari ladang. especially no 10 n 19. congrats to HSKOBA - farid, dol, telo, boboi, syqal, bagong, abg rahmat, abg hasman n dagu for winning the league n managed to hold the title for 4th times already. proud of u guys!

watch them on tv3.

bak kata telo, kita dah bagi bangga org klang!

BFF

2011-12-09T19:03:00.001+08:00

Malacca 2011.

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current obsession

2011-12-04T22:18:00.004+08:00

do u know why in malay, we call a child, 'cahaya mata' ?
because it simply means the light to the eye,
which exactly explains what i feel now about him.

super like.

2011-12-03T18:56:00.003+08:00

CLUB PINK
victoria's secret fashion show 2011

projector

2011-12-03T02:22:00.001+08:00

Aktiviti di malam hari bersama Makcik nadia.

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Aunty sherry

2011-12-01T23:31:00.001+08:00

Welcome to the world, megat umar.

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sunday morning.

2011-11-27T09:59:00.002+08:00

woke up early in the morning n perform subuh prayer with family. ahh.. how i miss days like this. no one to tell me about school work. i need a break from all that. definitely. not happy with where i am (school) n the people i work with. too many dramas n too many fake emotions in the air.

went for a bbq session last nite at abglong's house. few anak ikans were there. on super hot bikes. yup. unfortunately, my anak ikan crew, nadia came in late, with her bf.huhu.

so, my plans today?

going to search for fabrics.saw this super cute fabric at ikea. im gona make a super cute curtain for my room. excited. im thinking of plain blue or purple n i will tie few pink ribbons on it.

planning to go for hair treatment session with nad. hopefully, this time she will bring me to a correct salon (pilih2, i boleh buat punya)

search for a carpet/rug to put in my room. looking for a plain black.

watch a movie.

hopefully a fruitful day for me ahead. insyaAllah.

salam maal hijrah everyone!
may we have His blessings every seconds in our lives.
insyaAllah.

my own world.

2011-11-27T00:13:00.003+08:00

walaupun bilik bersepah due to the renovation process, tetap dapat pengunjung. terima kasih semua yang dtg memberi sokongan moral. huhu.

cant wait for the result.

ini soal MARUAH!

2011-11-11T23:21:00.001+08:00

it reminds me a whole lot as the director for 'kekasih semalam' at qut kelvin grove roundhouse theater.a lot of hardwork but the satisfaction, is endless.

Although I have to turn down a post as one of selangor netball officer for under 14 (the time clashes), I am happy that I did this as this comes 2nd after netball. Super tired. I barely sleep as I spent lotsa time managing the camp. Passion makes people go crazy everyday in their lives, huh?

Now I miss all my actors n crews of Kekasih Semalam n Macbeth. who knows, there will be one project for us, in the future? Amin.

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melody #1

2011-11-07T20:27:00.001+08:00

Menangis dalam gelap malam
Bersendirian ditemankan bulan
Mungkin itu yang sering dikatakan kehidupan
Sebentar di atas dan sebentar di bawah
Hidup yang tak pernah penuh dengan kepuasan
Dan tak juga kosong dengan kebuntuan
Aku sering tanyakan diriku sendiri
Apa itu erti sebuah kehidupan
Menangis dan ketawa
Sendirian tak berhaluan
Mungkin kalau aku lebih memerlukan
Kau akan datang memberikan

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kuat.

2011-11-07T11:38:00.001+08:00

U never know how strong u are until being strong is the only choice u have.

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anak ikan.

2011-11-06T23:24:00.001+08:00

Girls day out looking for.ehem.

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eid mubarak.

2011-11-05T21:03:00.001+08:00

To everyone here, at home. N to my relatives at the holy land n to the rest of muslims. May this day brings out the best of us n may we will be blessed by Him. InsyaAllah.

*prayers to all Muslims whose fighting for illness or his blessing during this holy period. Dun give up on Him.

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prayers.

2011-10-28T10:49:00.002+08:00

"saat seseorang yang dicintai jauh disisi, saat hati teramat rindukan dia, saat tiada medan untuk menghubunginya, dan saat dia terlalu sibuk dengan urusannya hingga tidak mampu untuk memikirkan kita, maka wanita solehah itu akan segera mencurahkan rasa itu dengan mendendangkan rindu pada bait-bait kalaMULLAH, meluahkan isi hati di medan sujud bersama linangan air mata dan doa nan tulus, moga kasih dan ingatan ini berkekalan menuju syurga. Wanita solehah itu kan bijak memendam dan mengalirkan rasanya"

in memories.

we rocked Malacca, baby!

2011-10-27T08:55:00.002+08:00

had so much fun with my kids sampai kena tegur sbb tak bercampur dengan group cikgu langsung. kids lagi fun kot.
huhu.
;P

une less puntos

2011-10-26T19:13:00.001+08:00

Inspired by his determination.

Steve jobs (1955-2011)

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us.

2011-10-24T08:02:00.001+08:00

We miss u, Sab!

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ok. menangis sekarang.

2011-10-20T10:55:00.002+08:00

my tears dropped when I read this.

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double rainbow.

2011-10-19T12:24:00.001+08:00

Kebosanan ketika kursus akan menyebabkan kreativiti kita membuak2.

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wedding photo

2011-10-17T01:18:00.001+08:00

I want this for my wedding photo.

Definitely. Perfect.

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netball:part 2

2011-10-16T08:40:00.001+08:00

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kekecewaan.

2011-10-12T01:32:00.001+08:00

Tahu apa yang paling buat saya kecewa? Bila saya usaha, tapi, org lain yg lebih pandai main politik yang dapat. Salah saya, Sbb tak nak terjebak. Tapi, salahkah saya Sbb saya nak rasa bersih drpd hal2 Yang sebegitu.

Birokrasi.

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current obsession.

2011-10-07T09:23:00.002+08:00

SKRILLEX

water.

2011-10-05T21:17:00.001+08:00

WANITA BERUNSUR AIR
1) Menghidupkan hati pasangan dan pemberi
semangat.
2) Mengambil berat
3) Hatinya bersih dan boleh membahagiakan
pasangan
4) Menenangkan pasangan.
5) Sangat romantis
6) Mudah menangis

According to my reading, I'm air. Can I be api instead? Because api is mentioned as sum1 who is hot n memberahikan in love. I dun wana menenangkan pasangan. I wana be hot. Like PCD members. Gggrr~

Hahaha. Sengal me.

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i need u now.

2011-10-04T11:31:00.003+08:00

Owhhhh.. Don't be too hard on urself.. Sometimes works kill us! Hang in there just a few weeks to holiday! The moment where we can temporarily forget the shit!

Relationship? Is it **** Babe I hv less experience about it but wat I believe is true love never hurts you for a long period.. The hurt and pain come and go. The bitterness is the bridge to understand each other better. Follow your heart and mind. Be strong

Miss u much
Xoxo

monday morning.

2011-10-03T07:45:00.001+08:00

a morning text does not simply mean

'good morning'.

rather, it comes with the silent, loving message,

'i think of you when i wake up'

well said.

semanis gula-gula.

2011-10-02T19:37:00.001+08:00

The sweetest thing that a person can do to others can be as simple as sacrificing ur own time to get lunch for others, u know. Like, u dun have to buy fancy things to show that you care. A simple note will do. or u dun have to spend 24 hours talking to me, just a smile from u, will make my day. N like wat kak falah did when my car was in workshop dat day, she gave me a ride back home so that I dun have to wait for my mum to pick me up for an hour.It looks simple, but,to tell u the truth, I am so touched.

I guess, we should take things easily n more relax. We will see the world n others better.

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the best club sandwich.

2011-09-23T00:01:00.001+08:00

Bisou club. The best club sandwich I've ever eaten. Better than o'briens, Starbucks n subway. Please, oh please try.

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how far would i go?

2011-09-22T07:30:00.004+08:00

this is the question that i ask myself every single day.

like when your mum suddenly calls you to ask for your help although you are watching your favourite movie with your beloved, you will definitely go out from the cinema at once, in the middle of the movie, drives home, to attend to her. you can just say, 'laterla, ma' or 'ask kaklong or boy to do itla, ma' instead, you would do it for her. and when you have to accompany her to everywhere she goes, shopping, facial, meeting with friends, and take care of all her friends' kids while she goes out for movie with her friends. even sometimes, whenever shes meeting her friends and she only wants you to drive her, waits for her, n bring her back home - she can just drive herself there on her own but being a mother, yeah. i still do it for her because that is how far i would go for my family.

like going to all my class at school. i can just go inside each class n take out the textbook, n teach. but i didnt. i always have something extra and special for them. to help them understand better. i actually did the practicum thingy until now. yesterday, i taught them about what a tree can gives us. i brought elizabeth arden's green tea perfume n let all 160 students of mine, smell , experience and describe about the smell. its not really a problem if u go to rural school which they are used to smell perfumes. but, for my students, yesterday was their first time. n if u ask me about the perfume, yes, only 1 quarter left, but, that really helps them understand things better. everyday to school, that is how far i would go for my students.

like when your bestfriend suddenly calls you at 3am and the fact that she needs you, you would at least lend your ears if not rushing out drives to her house. u just dont have the heart to just let she cries and do nothing. its like shes a part of u and whenever she cries, your heart hurts and your tears start to stream down your face too. maybe the love that you have for her is as much as love your family members. and the fact that she is always there for you when you need her, you are doing the same thing to her too. its hard when u come to think about it. like what sabrina said, friendship needs effort. wake up at 3am,looking for your car keys and drives to your bestfriend house just to be with her when shes down, that is how far i would go for my friends.

everything in this world, every single thing that happens, just ask yourself, how far would u go for something that u really love. then only u will know urself and others better.

Coach Syarifah

2011-09-19T19:17:00.001+08:00

Mini Olympic for netball at my old school, mgs klang.

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berlari.

2011-09-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

aku mahu berlari.
tanpa henti.
ke sana sini.
bersama sepi.
tinggalkan sedih hati.
untuk kemudian hari.
tapi ku khuatiri.
inikah yang pasti.
untukku kembali.
menjaga hati.

morning lotus.

2011-09-12T08:03:00.001+08:00

I walk on Monday morning with so much hope that everything will turn out good this week. Like what arifah posted, for some, happiness comes easily, but for some, u really need to work for it.

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eid.

2011-09-03T15:57:00.001+08:00

Eid Mubarak.
Maaf Zahir Batin.

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sab.sob.sab.

2011-08-23T00:56:00.004+08:00

i am missing that moment with her now.
n i know im gona miss it more later.
definitely one of a kind girl that has a special place in my heart.

need it now.

2011-08-21T14:20:00.001+08:00

When was the last time I touch one of those?

Hmm. Something to ponder on.

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please leave, thank you.

2011-08-17T12:18:00.002+08:00

im hoping that all the bad energy will go away so that i can easily enjoy my life.

if i dun disturb ur life, please do the same thing to me.

thank you.

chess and god.

2011-08-14T22:25:00.003+08:00

jodoh itu, rahsia tuhan.
kita takkan tahu percaturannya.

ayat2 cinta.

2011-08-14T14:48:00.001+08:00

Mencintai dan memiliki itu adalah 2 benda yang berbeza. Hanya yang cukup sabarnya dapat memahaminya. Lantas, menerimanya.

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k.e.g.e.m.b.I.r.a.a.n.

2011-08-12T20:02:00.001+08:00

Don't want an ending.

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hair cut.

2011-08-10T18:51:00.001+08:00

I need a new hair cut n sonya's definitely worth trying. U think?

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4monkeys

2011-08-08T21:15:00.001+08:00

Fav cousins.

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so true.

2011-08-06T09:42:00.000+08:00

Mengapa menyakiti

yang kita pilih

sedangkan cinta

itu indah

-faris mansor-

my fav bursa

2011-08-05T11:27:00.002+08:00

our first picture together in aussie.
happy birthday, JG.
may u have diamond days ahead.

love u sgt2, makcik!

patah hati.

2011-08-02T20:17:00.004+08:00

Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

apa guna hati sejernih kaca,
sekiranya selalu diranap si dia yang kau cinta.

dia.

2011-08-01T09:11:00.003+08:00

zul, sila turun ke kl secepat mungkin.
rindu zaman2 bermain guitar bersama.
terima kasih.

p/s : salam ramadhan almubarak untuk semua.
semoga bulan ini kita dirahmati dan dikasihiNya.
insyaAllah.

sayap yang patah.

2011-07-30T09:09:00.003+08:00

i cant sleep last night. theres sumting that is missing from me. so, i browse through my bookshelf and i found the old dramatic book, 'the broken wings' by khalil. like what i have discussed in my book club earlier, it is cheesy, but i found it sweet if u r in his position, in love and trying to pour all his feelings and emotions through words. i read it again for i duno how many times last night until early in the morning. i cried badly last night because somehow i can still feel how i felt when being left by sum1 we really love. its like watching hindustan, korean , japanese n those sad love stories. u can actually drown in ur own tears.

how i miss watching movies with the princhesters now.

'In every young man's life there is a "Selma" who appears to him suddenly

while in the spring of life and transforms his solitude

into happy moments and fills the silence of his nights with music.'

-the broken wings, khalil gibran-

current obsession

2011-07-29T08:59:00.002+08:00

bubba gump.high heels.three-holes-ring

alhamdulillah.

2011-07-26T15:02:00.000+08:00

im still here.breathing.praise to Allah.

ren.

2011-07-23T07:37:00.004+08:00

i have a student. a form five student who i teach English every week. last night, he opened up to me asking me to help him solve his love problems.

i used to be him the last time i remember. but now, im helping my student to solve his love problem. i actually used a paper, and a pencil to help us went through the session because he loves to draw and he finds it difficult to start. he drew the problems, people involved ; i find the whole session, super cute and we managed to come out with few suggestions and solutions.we kinda did a mind map, if he choose that one particular choice, this is what hes gona get. good thing is, i gave him options.

i feel like i am katherine heigl in 27 dresses. dok menyibuk tolong org bercinta, but myself.. hm...

and my student has an imaginary friend, named Ren who tells him what to do, and share ideas and opinions all the time. yeah, i wana laugh at first, but when he told me how real and true his imaginary friend is, i kinda , u know, blend in.

oh, i feel so old.

jejaka idaman

2011-07-21T11:34:00.003+08:00

i wana be christina perri in this video and i want my boyfriend to be like the guy in that who sounded very much like cookie monster. cute.

hot, ber-tattoo and sexy.

jilat.jilat.jilat.

mahakarya

2011-07-20T09:17:00.007+08:00

sampai masa tibanya waktu

redup hati kamu berdua

bila dua jasad bersatu

hidup mati jadi bersama

most beautiful i had ever seen from her.

2011-07-19T07:54:00.001+08:00

agnes monica - karena ku sanggup.

ringing.NOT.

2011-07-17T21:15:00.003+08:00

working my ass out to generate a test paper for the next test. i think im a bit bias because i tried to look for questions that will not burden my students that much. note: my students r from the last 4 classes out of 14 classes. i guess the good students will get superb result unless they didnt know what a 'clown' is too because none of my students (160 of them) know what a clown is. yes, its true.

its funny because u often get headache when u r trying to teach them in class because not all will pay their attention n interest to u after u have worked so hard preparing your teaching materials. u still are worry about their performance. hmm. some of them will actually be super overjoyed if they can go out from ur class during english because they could not even bothered to learn anything at school - they will not bring any books that is related to your subject and they think that english will eternally be foreign to them.

i guess parents n their surroundings play a very important role to the kids. due to the fact that they did not realize how important english in their life, they jus dun care . they jus dun care. at all. in fact, not only english, almost all the subjects.

i know they are improving. n im thankful for that. but, lately, i think im loosing the grip.

i just need to tighten it up a bit.

nirmala.

2011-07-15T07:37:00.005+08:00

Sesungguhnya berkasihlah

Di antara manusia

Perindah segala kata-kata

Bahagia itu janjinya

Mengapa kita sengketa

Rentaslah jalan terbuka

Tanpa dusta

patah hilang tumbuh berganti

2011-07-14T12:01:00.003+08:00

TOBY - My new baby.

D.I.Y

2011-07-13T10:38:00.007+08:00

Problem: the remote alarm is no longer together with the keys set. i have to hold on to two things wherever i go. (as seen below)

aim: attaching the remote alarm back to the keys set

things needed: a philip screwdriver and determination.

steps:

1. screw out the screw in the remote alarm so that you can open up the remote ( as seen as below).

2.make sure the battery is properly placed back when u want to attach the outside screw in before you place the remote back together.

3. once u have set the outside screw in, (so that both keys set and the remote are attached together), carefully press the remote back together until u hear the 'tap' sound , which means it is now properly attached.

4. before you put in back the first screw just now, try to pull out the outside screw. if you can pull the screw out, that means, you are doing the wrong thing and u did not attach it properly inside the remote alarm. repeat step 1 - 3 again.

5. once u cant pull the screw out, screw back the first screw in. make sure it is tight enough so that u dun have to go through all this thingy again.

6. tadaa!!!!

caution!

u have to be careful when screw-ing and placing the screw in because u can hurt ur fingers due to the small size of the screw and u r just being a woman who loves to be pampered and dun wana do all these stuffs.

hypothesis: the more lonely u are, the more things u can do on ur own. huhu. sebenarnya memang senang sangat kot buat nih, tapi selalu nak harapkan org lain manjakan ataupun nak untungkan pakcik kedai tu.

bak kata mama - 'kau memangla boleh je buat semua tu, gembeng je. manja sangat'

hambek kau!

T.R.U.S.T

2011-07-11T14:23:00.002+08:00

trust is a big word. for everyone. not just to lovers or friends, but also to family members. it is sumting that is so precious that u almost cant gain back if you lost it. maybe u can , but u have to go through all over again.

for those we love, it is important to trust your loved ones. sum said, dun trust ur partner 100%. but, for me, when something happened like gossips, rumours, u have to go back to ur trust on ur partner. if u put ur trust on him, u will try to ask things around first before u jump into conclusion. n when u have done that, then only u can decide to put ur trust. either he will loose it or he still have ur trust. trust will determine your love to that person. trust will let u forgive them .trust will let u keep ur love last longer and trust will let u hold on to those you love. trust will never let u give up on those u love. but when u dont trust them anymore, the love that u cherished the most will be gone, in a second.

im jus asking you to think back of the reason why this thing happened. if u trust people more and if this is solely his fault, then, u can start to walk away. but i always think that problems can be solved as long as u still have ur trust on those u love and never let go. hold on to ur love because thats what keeping both of u together. n y want to waste it by some rumours?marriage is not something we pick when we walk and we can just drop it when we no longer have feelings for that particular sum1. its a devotion of two souls that trust each other. be there for better or worse. but, once u have a negative feelings towards ur own marriage and pointing fingers is the only thing u do, check again about the meaning of ur marriage. u r not loving the other person. u r using them. it is supposed to be two sides worth of effort. if something is wrong, both sides are responsible.

when u try to point fingers at people, maybe u should stop and think back. is there anything that u have done to cause this problem? maybe its time to evaluate urself - im doing the same thing too.

i need a new start.

2011-07-11T07:05:00.000+08:00

bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

everything.

2011-07-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

i duno what did i do wrong but everything is being snatched away from me.
literally EVERYTHING.

im not sure this is the start of my karma or this is the end.

thanks to those who cares.may Allah grant u a better life than what i have now. insyaAllah.

betulkan saya.

2011-07-08T08:58:00.000+08:00

bila kau mencuba yang terbaik, tetapi kau tetap gagal
bila kau dapat apa yang kau mahukan, tetapi bukan apa yang kau perlukan
bila kau tidur sepanjang hari tetapi kau masih tidak mahu berhenti
terperangkap dalam putaran
bila air mata mengalir tanpa henti
bila kau hilang sesuatu yang tiada berganti
bila kau sukakan seseorang tetapi tiada akhirnya nanti
bolehkah menjadi lebih teruk dari ini?

diam.tidur.hilang.

hati berbalang kaca

2011-07-03T16:40:00.000+08:00

bila kau menangis sendiri di situ
kau tahu kau keseorangan
kau berharap kepedihan dan kesengsaraan itu akan pergi
meninggalkan hati kau yang rapuh seperti kaca
mungkin ia telah retak
mungkin ia telah pecah
mungkin kau sendiri tak mahukannya
apa guna mempunyai hati sejernih kaca
tetapi selalu diranap oleh si dia yang kau cinta.

life and everything surrounds it.

2011-07-03T06:19:00.000+08:00

i had the biggest slap in my whole life last night until to the extend which i dun want to be in this life anymore. yeah. for a while. i wish that i can just disappear if whatever i said, means nothing especially to the ones i love the most - my family.

it breaks my heart when u always be good to people, yet, people make stories about u. bad ones. not the good ones. n u will be wondering.. my goodness, if this is what they give u back when u r always being nice to u, imagine if u treat them like shit, they will surely give u hell, man. furthermore, it came from the environment that u hate the most - ur school. n somehow it arrived at my dad's ear n the whole family.

maybe its important to think about the truth or the other side of the story. maybe whatever people told u, it is not necessarily good. but, u chose to listen to them rather than listening to ur own blood. dat hurts. a lot.

i just need my old rainbow back. that shines brightly on the skies . that gives me reason to smile. every single day. never fails.

what shall not be given a title.

2011-06-29T11:19:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning with so much hopes and interests. not that i know whatever that we wish for everyday, it might not come and please us. like today. but i hope that it will come later today. i feel so bad for my students because i am becoming less motivated day by day. i wish for more motivation and adrenaline from everything around me. and i really miss my friends. its been a while i didnt meet any of them. too busy with stuffs that i duno which one to look forward to. i have things that i regret everyday and things that i wish can explode them so that i dun have to see them in the future. like this one lady in my school. maybe i think too much about it. maybe i should let her go. bad energy and it is useless.kan?

looking forward to an observation by orang putih today n my time alone on bed tonight. mungkin kita memang perlu biasakan sikit2 keseorangan. feeling2 time prac.

di hatiku ada hatimu

2011-06-25T03:49:00.001+08:00

I Carry Your Heart With Me
by EE Cummings.

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate
(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

hati berbunga.

2011-06-23T08:47:00.000+08:00

kau tahu hari itu akan jadi indah bila perkara pertama yang kau buat bila bangun ialah senyum.

kerispatih.

2011-06-22T11:27:00.000+08:00

bila rasaku ini rasamu.

hanyut

2011-06-22T10:08:00.000+08:00

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja
Saat mata terpejam
Hanya kau ku terbayang
Menghapus semua segala rasa di jiwaku
Saat mata terbuka
Kamulah yang pertama
Tak mampu aku
Bayangkan
Hidup tanpa dirimu

these are my reasons to smile everyday.

2011-06-18T12:34:00.002+08:00

mungkin bila mereka tiada, saya akan rasa nyawa saya hilang separuh.

go away. please.

2011-06-15T19:36:00.000+08:00

1st, my baby buncho died.

2nd, i actually have gastric (wth?? kan??)

3rd, i cant go to the school camping trip.

4th, while some of my frens really enjoy travelling while working, i am stuck at skrp.

5th, cant go to singapore to shop.

6th, i desperately need to have extra time to finish my reading.

7th,i just need a good movie and dinner date.

8th, i wish i have sum1 who can listen to me now.

9th, i want the world to stop so that i can take a deep breath.

10th, i have LADAP to attend tomorrow.

sadness, depression.. please. go away, please.

*thanks to fared n abg raja sbb pickup syefah n angkutkan my car kat sekolah ketika diriku sakit seperti kene tikam dengan pedang samurai sebentar tadi.

i need a doctor.

2011-06-15T11:04:00.000+08:00

I'm about to lose my mind

You've been gone for so long

I'm running out of time

I need a doctor

Call me a doctor

I need a doctor, doctor

To bring me back to life

baru sebentar tiada, tetapi kehilangannya terasa.

buncho.

2011-06-14T19:39:00.000+08:00

i had a terrible start at school yesterday. my kids played with lizard during the period before me and when i came in, they accidently threw a lizard on me and i caught them stored tons of lizards in their water bottle. when i asked, they have been looking for lizards for few hours dat day around the school because previous teachers were not there. i gt so stressed. i almost faint because i had a super carefree 2 weeks and now, im here in the class, with lizard-loving-kids.

one of my kittens died today. i am indeed super sad because i feel so attached to them as i was there with them, everyday, in fact, since they were born. but, i guess, some things in ur life, has to go. n dis time, its my cutest kitten, buncho. no wonder he is super cute compared to his siblings.

we had dis sukaneka thingy at this school and today is the rehearsal. so, i was at the field , literally from 2.40 till 6.30. i was in charged of one of the stations. to tell u the truth, although it is super hot and my skin was burning to the max ( i had prepare sum good precautions, sun block n shade), i had fun. super fun. great activity, awesome company.maybe because i dun have to face the kids in the class, which they dun even bother to learn sumting new. ok. maybe not all. bad teacher, i am. i know. but, i have to say, im very amused on how the male teachers can actually control the kids. yeah, they scolded the kids and treat them harshly, but, i can see that the kids adore them and tak amik hati langsung. seriously, if i am the student, i would cry because sumtimes, it is super harsh. then again, if it works, then, dats the reason y i cant control my students easily. i can, but i have to give 1000 more effort than the male teachers.

taught my kids about manners yesterday. solely about manners. 'thank you, and sorry, teacher.'

200th post

2011-06-12T09:36:00.000+08:00

the first thing on my mind this morning.

current addiction - cant get enough of it.

my chipsmore.

my heart skips a beat.

2011-06-10T11:55:00.000+08:00

perasaan hati membuak2 kerana apa yang di alami. Pilu, hiba, simpati, gembira, semuanya dapat dirasai. mungkin itu apa yang saya patut turuti. mencari identiti dan keaslian kepada perasaan saya sendiri. bila sesuatu terjadi, dimanakah diletakkan paksi untuk saya terus menyandarkan emosi?

"teacher, sorry tak datang semalam."

"dia pergi mahkamah syariah, teacher."

"maksud awak?"

"saya tak nak bagitaulah teacher. macam jaga tepi kain orang pulak. suruh dia sendiri bgtaulah"

sambil menghulurkan kertas,

"tulis, saya nak tahu. tak perlu berbincang pasal tu kalau awak tak nak"

bila saya lihat apa yang tertulis, lidah saya kelu. terdiam sebentar.

mak dan ayah saya nak bercerai.

"awak ok?"

"saya ok. tapi, saya tak suka mak saya. dia jahat"

rentak degupan jantung saya tersasar seketika.

boredom.

2011-06-08T13:53:00.000+08:00

when the boredom strucks u very hard, u feel like sumting is wrong in ur life. there must be sumting to do. yeah, at 7.30, not now. it feels weird because when u have lotsa stuff to do, u wish that the time stops and u dun have anything to do. just lazying around. but when u have lotsa that moments, like now, u barely do anything, hence ; u wish u have sumting to do.

i guess thats life. u just cant get enough of anything u have.

sunshine.

2011-06-07T09:08:00.000+08:00

ive been grounded for two days. yes. perintah berkurung. thanks mama for the arahan .i didnt go out from my house n im quite surprised i managed to go through that without bribing my aunty. maybe its my emotional state contributes to that. i felt so uncomfortable n my anger fills my heart, my thoughts , everything. n yes, i decided to just lie down on bed n sleep. dats what i did the whole day yesterday, on bed n sleep. when i suddenly wke up, i will force myself to sleep again. dats how terrible my holiday is yesterday.

sum things in life u just cant handle it. especially, when it comes to other people's action which u wish u can shout at them n said 'come on man, are u for real?' seriously. people dun say stuff, n half of the way, they suddenly gone. even friends dun do that. nak cakap, cakap. kalau tak nak cakap, jangan cakap. u stand for what u believe and go for it. but then again, its people, kan? (while doing this gaya.)

so, today, i decided to do anything that i can do. so, heres the list:

-go swimming

-2 movies in a row

-go to bookxcess

-lunch and dinner outside

-eat pancake (buttermilk)

-buy a new shoe and handbag

-badminton session with lilyn n abglong

-lepak with fared

-visit nad n sidek

gambate!!!!

tutup telefon.

2011-06-06T23:44:00.000+08:00

AAAAAArrrggghhh!!!!!!!!

bila kau buat macam ni, kau masih mampu panggil diri kau lelaki?

paham tak?

2011-06-06T17:09:00.000+08:00

"kalau saya boleh transform jadi justin saya jadi dah. who can give u support, adrenaline and motivation"

paham tak betapa pentingnya justin timberlake dalam hidup saya

dan betapa susahnya kehidupan sekarang?

the zebra and owl

2011-06-06T09:59:00.000+08:00

Oh, I know that I am here

and you are there

but we still have our love.

drama.drama.drama.

2011-06-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

i love you more than u'll ever know

tolong khabarkan pada saya sekiranya weekend anda lebih drama, gila dan manis daripada apa yang saya rasa.

terima kasih kepada semua kerana telah menyumbang kepada keseronokan dan kehuru-haraan dalam hidup saya. terima kasih kepada semua yang menghebatkan lagi upacara birthday nad di rumahnya terutama nad (birthday girl - 3 june aka makcik dah tua tak sedar diri new york), faeizan kassim (nad's bf aka prison break's michael scofield), abg lan (nad's bro aka zac efron), sidek alias (effortless beauty queen). anda semua jantung hati saya kerana telah memberikan sinar cahaya kegembiraan dan kegilaan untuk saya tidak terus sedih dan berserah dengan hidup. terima kasih juga kepada mr. R kerana meluangkan masa dan layan saya merepek. saya belajar banyak tentang kehidupan bila kita bertukar pendapat. terima kasih juga kepada insan2 yang lain kerana membawa drama2 baru kepada hidup saya dan mak nadia kerana mempercayai saya untuk membalut hadiah dan saya telah memecahkannya. terima kasih makcik kerana memberi kepercayaan itu walaupun benda tu dah berderai. terima kasih fared untuk baju kebaya. terima kasih Macdonald dan kedai2 makanan yang lain kerana menyediakan menu2 yang memberikan tahap2 di awang2an (bak kata kami, 'orgasmic'). terima kasih juga kepada pakcik yang menolong saya dengan kereta saya pada malam semalam.

berterima kasih kepada tuhan kerana memberikan saya peluang untuk merasai semua ini. semoga perjalanan hidup saya dimudahkan dan dirahmatiNya.

*happy birthday, Nad. sayang kau sangat. kaulah hidup aku, hati aku dan jiwa aku. semoga semua pekerjaan kau mendapat berkat dariNya.

mltr

2011-05-27T09:45:00.000+08:00

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
but there is something left in my head

kecewa.

2011-05-25T10:52:00.000+08:00

semalam saya menangis di dalam perpustakaan sekolah saya kerana kecewa dengan beberapa murid kelas belakang saya kerana tidak menghormati saya. walaupun saya tahu mereka telah dikategorikan sebagai murid yang tidak boleh diperbaiki sahsiah kerana rekod2 kejahatan seperti melubangkan kepala kawan sendiri dan membuli murid lain dengan memukul dan meminta wang , tetapi saya tetap berusaha untuk menarik minat mereka untuk belajar. tetapi, saya tidak boleh lagi bersabar semalam kerana mereka telah bercakap dengan nada yang tidak sopan dengan saya kerana tidak mahu membuat kerja yang diberikan kerana mereka tidak minat belajar kerana mak bapak mereka tidak kisah mereka tidak pandai.

saya rasa seperti saya bukan guru yang baik kerana perasaan untuk tidak melihat muka mereka sangat menebal sekarang.

happy teacher's day

2011-05-19T10:25:00.000+08:00

with some of the teachers of skrp. rasa paling plain sangat. huhu. sbb yang lain meriah makngah.

found it.

2011-05-18T08:53:00.000+08:00

Boy I think about it every night and day

I'm addicted wanna jump inside your love

I wouldn't wanna have it any other way

I'm addicted and I just can't get enough

rebecca hitam

2011-05-14T16:15:00.000+08:00

seriously?

Roses are red, violets are blue, if Rebecca Black wins ANY awards, Kanye you know what to do...

motivation

2011-05-11T09:23:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you just need a little Justin Timberlake in your school to get you moving.

married guys 101

2011-05-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

since all the male teachers in my school are married, i really need to have a survival guide on how to talk to them. well, at first, i dun really think i should bother on how i talk to them until a colleague of mine gt scolded by a male teacher's wife because she thinks my colleague's sms to her husband x proper. i saw the sms. for god sake, shes just asking about work n the male teacher is the only person who is in charged.

after that incident, i became more conscious about how i talk to them n sometimes, i have to sms them for work purposes. i actually sent a draft sms to nadia first to check whether my sms is appropriate for a married guy. who knows the wife checks the husband's sms everyday. psycho.i know.

sometimes, i actually said sorry first before i said anything. i tried to be as polite as i can and as tak drama as i can. n theres one incident when we talked at the library:

people in the scene: me, aisyah, kak nairul, cikgu syamry and cikgu norman hakim.
we were talking about nyahs and how they are viewed from different perspectives.

me: tapi, saya rasa, mereka kalau macam saya perlukan seorang lelaki, mereka boleh je jadi lelaki.

(ok. what i meant was, when we really need the guys to protect us like when we wana cross the road or lift bags, they would become a man n help us. at least dat is what i saw based on my experience. but this is how the married guys heard it)

cikgu syamry: maksud pah, perlukan lelaki tu, apa dia? perlukan yang macam mana tu?

(i know what they meant because both the male teachers n aisyah n kak nairul were laughing. ok.. now.. is it my bm memang shitty or my tone salah? perlukah semuanya pasal benda2 yang dewasa? macamana untuk kita bercakap dengan mereka seperti kita bercakap dengan semua budak lelaki ipba cohort 4 yang most of the time, paham dan dengar benda yang serupa? mungkin tak mungkin berlaku. when im so careful on how i talk to them, derang pulak boleh buat lawak yang obviously akan menyebabkan isteri derang marah.)

do i talk to them like i talk to dan, dyau, zaim, zul, sunny, mamat, aiman n yuni?

or should i really choose my words because they are married n things can get really complicated n dramatic if wrongly understood.

yes, i really need a survival guide on communicating with married guys. please.

i wanna eat pussy.

2011-05-06T08:37:00.000+08:00

yes, dats what my year 3 boy said when i gt into his class. its not for me, i know. but .. wait3. since it is from my school, obviously its not in english, which makes things worse.

'SAYA NAK MAKAN PEPEK'

i was so disturbed by that statement especially the last word that i spent 10 minutes scolded the boy n the whole class. i gave them revision sheets and i went out my class. i went to staffroom n tried to talk the problem out (one of them is the school counsellor) with some senior teachers who were in there n this is what they said:

'PAH, BIAR JELAH. DERANG MEMANG BIASA MACAM TU. NAK BUAT MACAMANA? KALAU SUSAH, NEXT YEAR, PAH MINTAK JE TUKAR AJAR DARJAH SATU KE'

nak buat macamana? what the? if u cant do anything, so, u just let it be? then, how would the kids know which one is good and which one is wrong? n how would they know that was a serious thing. i went to my car, locked myself in it n i cried.

i got so disturbed by the word (maybe because a year 3 kid said that. he is too young to know that kinda word and behaviour). n i cried because no one bothers to do something to that kinda kid. so, we just let them be? dont u think its very immoral if u see sum1 does sumting bad (which i believe its going to be worst later) n u just let it be? how about ur moral code? their moral code?

some said i got so over reacted by this incident. but if only u knw how disturbed u can be by the word and the thought that u will be teaching in that kinda environment for i duno how many years.

'No man can be a good teacher unless he has feelings of warm affection toward his pupils and a genuine desire to impart to them what he himself believes to be of value. '

Bertrand Russell

relationship.

2011-05-04T09:31:00.000+08:00

i cried when i watched this.it reminds me of my relationships with all my xs. it is so true how they categorize the stages. watch this.

welcome to the family

2011-05-02T09:33:00.000+08:00

welcome to the family:

daughters n sons of cici:

caca (as in cha2 dance)
cece (as in 'sister' in chinese)
cucu (as in grandaughters)
coco (as in coco chanel)

*my other family members puat petition untuk tukar nama kittens tu.huhu.

bercakap pada bulan.

2011-04-29T09:54:00.000+08:00

aku rasa indahnya

bila mendengar kau menyanyikan lagu itu

sangat indah.

aku faham apa yang kau rasa.

kau rasa seperti dia ada di sana

seperti engkau ada di sini untuknya

dia rindukan kau seperti kau rindukan dia.

aku faham apa yang kau rasa.

kerna aku juga seperti itu.

bila malam bertabir

aku ada di situ menantikannya

kerana indahnya tidak terkata

memberi harapan padaku

memberi ketenangan padaku

yang dia akan tiba datang kepadaku.

aku tunggu, tunggu, dan tunggu

seperti kau.

kerana aku tahu dia ada.

di luar sana.

L.A.Z.Y

2011-04-28T08:07:00.000+08:00

i fall in love with this music video and can i play it over and over again while im in the LADAP (latihan dalam perkhidmatan) session kejap lagi?

please.please.please.

single dan boleh mingle.

2011-04-27T09:07:00.000+08:00

kadang2 rasa awkward sebab dingorat oleh students sendiri. aku rasa derang tak tahu pun apa yang mereka sedang lakukan, tetapi, kadang2 comel sbb derang budak kecik lagi. apa yang kau tahu tentang cinta, budak?

'teacher, saya dah tahu boyfriend teacher siapa'

'siapa?'

'haziq dr kelas 3 jaya tu'

'erk. mana kamu tahu ni? pandai je'

'dialah btgtau satu sekolah'

'korang ni, kecik2 lagi dah pandai'

memang haziq pernah menyatakan hasratnya melalui surat yang berakhir dengan 'i love u, teacher', tapi, aku ingat sbb dah nak hari guru. huhu. pelik. terlalu muda dah tahu nak ada pasangan sendiri. yang peliknya lagi, setiap kali aku bertembung dengan haziq di luar kelas, dia akan tersipu2 malu. aku yang rasa pelik. like, seriously?

tapi, kan, aku single. bolehlah mingle. tapi, dengan budak year 3. boleh?

huhu. deranglah penawar duka aku kat sekolah. kalau takde budak2 tu, mesti tertekan bekerja jadi guru nih. cumanya, kalau dah besar, dia ingat balik, mesti dia nak bunuh diri.

malaysian masterchef.

2011-04-17T13:54:00.000+08:00

i tot of joining, but, i couldnt attend the audition due to hari jumaat n sabtu (yeah, friday n saturday) working day, sabtu tu dah check ada LADAP. n my school susah bagi cuti except for wedding n kematian. the other day, one of my colleagues kawin, dapat satu hari cuti je. yeah. n plus, i have to free myself from anything due to the program from may tu august which i have asked my school, cuti tanpa gaji perlu dihantar 3 bulan sebelum. at least. yeah, so, dats it. ada yang cakap, just go trylah, maybe dapat. kalau dah dapat, nanti just cakap tak bolehla. however, dia ada agreement which we have to signed yang cakap we are able to free ourselves. ntahlah.mungkin bukan rezeki this time. esok pagi at 6 am, tarikh tutup penyertaan.

*was watching adnan sempit. i think the movie is a good malay movie sbb it really shows the malay culture (up to u to judge whether the culture is good or not). only a true malay would understand the jokes. n it reminds me of Iner. yes, Amalina Mohd.

*watched 10 mins of AF. yes, akademi fantasia. im not trying to burukkan or whatever but it is that bad. im trying to watch it with an open heart but i couldnt. i cant even stand it after 10 mins. im a big fan of reality tv shows especially when it comes to talents n i couldnt help myself looking for reasons for them to be in the show. like, seriously, susah nak carik.like, omg, seriously this is the best malaysia ada? i bet banyak lagi ada, tapi, yeah. its different when u watch american idol. u can feel the goose bumps u know. like, its a different and special feeling. i actually cried when listening to casey abrams's nature boy. its a different feeling because u will look so hard for their flaws because it is that good.

actually nak cakap pasal masterchef je, tapi, tak tahan sbb AF tu pening.

balang berisi hati

2011-04-14T10:30:00.000+08:00

bila malam aku terbangun

mendengar dua hati bermusuhan

hatiku rapuh retak lalu rebah

Kamu yang aku sanjung

Kamu yang aku junjung

buat aku terdiam terduduk

di tepi situ

berkasih dan bermanja.

2011-04-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

i cant remember the last time i smile when i woke up. i did this morning. not the bangun for the subuh one (huhu). but the 10am one. yes, thats what i did. i smiled.

its all because i gt to be in love with sum1 who is really famous in my dream. not only famous. but, tall, dark n handsome (i duno y anuar zain turn out to be so manly n muscular in my dream). plus point, he sings for me. yyeeehhhhhaaaa!!

we met in the plane which i duno where to n what cap is the kapal terbang. but his seat was beside me. when i first notice it was him, i get kinda confused. bukanke he looks very skinny based on the last time i saw him at kl sentral with jaygee. maybe he did some work out. n i first talked to him when i saw him reading kahlil gibran (pandai pembuat mimpi ni). so, we talked n we talked for few hours (i was wondering where could be the destination for this flight). n i duno how, but we woke up sleeping next to each other n i realised i landed my head to his shoulder (cliché sangat). n we talked again until it is almost time to land the airplane.

'saya, anuar zain'

'saya, syarifah'

'syarifah kerja apa?'

'saya, english teacher kat klang' (wakakakkakakakka)

'saya, penyanyi. erm, boleh kita borak2 lagi'

'gulp. yeah.'

'number phone?' sambil menghulurkan smart phonenya. cap apa , tak ingat.

we said goodbye n i waited for his call everyday. macam orang kata, mandi tak basah, tidur tak nyenyak n makan tak kenyang. ok, maybe kenyang tu kenyang jugak.

he called me after a few days n he asked me out. i was so excited, that i spend few hundreds buying a pair of cute shoe and a small black clutch. nak keluar dengan artis la katakan. perkara paling lawak is when he came to my house to pick me up, he came with a superbike. i was like, eh, biar betik ni anuar zain. ni lebih macam awie je. n since i live with all my realtives around me, all of them were at my house, nak tgk artislah katakan. lawak nak mati when i think about it again.

n we went to asia cafe. yeah. out of i duno how many good places at kl n selangor, asia cafe jugak. after all, this is my dream. huhu.we ate n we talked. we laughed. seriously, memang terbang tinggi di awan. sbb semua org lalu2 n tgk both of us. keluar dengan artis la katakan. n the psycho moment is when he actually sang a song guna lcd screen yang derang selalu tgk bola kat sebelah cyber cafe tu. tak boleh blah. serious weyh. nasib baik tak pinjam cd dr cetak rompak dealer there. huhu. he sang 'lelaki ini' n it became a mini concert where people berkumpul around him when he sings. rasa terbang di atas kayangan. attteeee!!!!

n suddenly i terbangun sbb chico (my cat) lompat on me. n i smiled.

i went to my pc and search for anuar zain's lelaki ini at youtube.

'ma, angah mimpi angah bercinta dengan anuar zain'

'mimpi bolehla. betul, ko ingat dia nak kat ko? (realistik sangat mama nih. heh.) tu yang kononnya pasang kuat2 lagu dia. anuar ibrahim konon'

'ma, anuar zain'

'eh.lupa pulak. anuar zain'

yeah. although its a dream, it made me smile until now. but i keep on asking myself, why do i always fall for people that i duno i cant get - a year 6 boy which is seriously tall, dark and handsome. n muscular. phewittttt.....

saja. mengorat2. singlelah katakan.

the light of the eye.

2011-04-08T11:01:00.001+08:00

walaupun penat tahap dewa naga, aku bersyukur kepadaMu ya Allah;

team sekolah dibawah pengurusanku menang naib johan bola baling mssd daerah.gembira sangat sbb mukaku terbakar dan berbelang dek latihan berhari2 dari pagi ke petang melatih bola baling.

menghabiskan 3000 untuk tukar tayar baru kereta, thorough service untuk kereta dan bayar duit keta. sekarang gaji tinggal beberapa ratus sebab bayar duit sana sini. hmm. tapi, dah takde owe orang mana2 dah.

kaklong mengandung. teruja! congrats, kaklong!

*semoga hidup diberkati dan dilimpahi rahmatMu ya Allah.